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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22840102">Ben Knows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords'>reigningqueenofwords</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Petty Insults [127]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avengers, Marvel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:29:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22840102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>steve x bucky, tony x reader - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Petty Insults [127]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/850284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ben Knows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You knew that the kids would be with Nat, Steve, Clint, and Bucky for a little bit longer, as they were all playing a game together. So, you went to talk to your husband. Tony was in the same spot as you left him. “Let me hear it.” He mumbled. He knew you weren’t going to tell him anything good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Licking your lips, you sniffed. “Heimdall feels like he wasn’t wanted, but Ben and all the other kids were.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony groaned, tearing up himself. “Shit.” He hung his head, resting his elbows on his knees. “If I could time travel and fix this, I would.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” You said sadly. “Ben also knows now.” You added. “Heimdall couldn’t keep this from him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it.” Tony sighed. “I don’t blame him.” He said honestly. “I’ve always loved how close they are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You nodded. “They’ll help each other.” You moved behind him to rub his shoulders. “And we’ll all get through this.” You added confidently, even if you were honestly terrified. The last thing you needed was to make things worse for Tony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I just lost two of my sons.” He looked down. “How can I possibly get through this?” He asked you. “Honestly, I think this is the worst pain I have ever felt.” He swallowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll take time.” You told him honestly. “But we’ll get through it.” You said again. “We’re a family. Families have tough times. What matters is that we all love each other, and that we work on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When do you think I should talk to him?” He looked at you sadly. “Should I do it soon, or give him time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe tell him goodnight? Something small.” You offered. “Build up to more?” You ran your fingers through his hair to help him relax.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “I can do that.” He sighed and leaned into you. “Can we take a hot bath together later? With that relaxing bath stuff you have?” Tony asked, hopeful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” You kissed his cheek. “I think we both need that tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.” He said thankfully. “I love you. So much.” He got up, moving to pull you to his chest. “Thank you for loving me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for letting me.” You hugged him. Kissing his cheek, you let out a soft sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony was nervous as he went to tell Heimdall goodnight. He sighed a few times before knocking on his door, sweating. Part of him expected to be decked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heimdall opened the door and raised his eyebrows. “Wasn’t expecting you.” He snapped. “What do you want? Come to tell me you’re glad I know I wasn’t wanted?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony shook his head, mouth growing dry. “I-I...I just…” He tried to calm himself, wanting to at least get something out to his son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heimdall frowned, watching as he paled. He knew what was happening. “Hey, sit down.” He motioned to the bench in the hall. He saw flashes of Tony being hurt. Because of him. He quickly helped him sit, trying to figure out how to calm him down. Should he call you? No, because then you’d panic, too! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Tony managed, shaking as he sat. “I’ll always be sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heimdall nodded and kneeled by him. “Okay.” He sighed, just wanting to get through this. All he could think about was when he’d knocked Tony out. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said softly. He was much bigger and stronger now, and he wouldn’t risk killing the man. You still loved Tony, and he didn’t want you in pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony shook his head. “M’not worried about that.” He took a deep breath. “Promise.” He assured him, closing his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heimdall swallowed, knowing Tony didn’t hate him for hurting him when he was smaller, but he was still upset. “Thanks.” He said lowly. He didn’t know what the right thing to do was at that moment. “Want me to get someone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony shook his head and leaned back against the wall. JARVIS automatically cooled down the hallway for him. He didn’t want to bother anyone. “I just came to tell you goodnight and that I love you.” Tony said after a moment. His voice was soft, and full of emotion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heimdall wanted to tell him he didn’t believe him but he didn’t want to make his panic worse. He felt like he was between a rock and a hard place. He stayed there until his breathing was back to somewhat normal. “Want me to walk you back?” He offered. It wasn’t like he could just leave him there all night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Tony sighed and stood. “Thanks for letting me get it out.” He told him, his eyes staying on the ground. “I really do love you, kid.” He said sadly before walking down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching him go, he waited a minute before walking back into his room. He knew he’d have to eventually tolerate him for you, but right now he couldn’t even think about it. Right now he just couldn’t. Shutting the door gently behind him, he let out a breath. He went back under the covers and held a pillow close. Normally when he felt like this, he would train with Steve. That had become their thing. Now? Old news. Now he had to find something new. He couldn’t go hang out in the lab like he used to, either. He wondered what Thor did when he felt upset. He’d ask him tomorrow. For now he just wanted to be alone and listen to music.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Ben had done a good job avoiding most of the adults that evening, and now he was in charge again for checking on the little ones sleepover. He was walking through the kitchen, getting some warm milk and juice before bedtime. All he wanted was to get the drinks, check on the kids, and relax. He groaned under his breath when he heard his fathers in the nearby lounging area. He wondered if he could get his things before they knew he was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the fridge quietly and quickly got out the milk and juices boxes. He held his breath as he placed them on a tray. He did everything he could to not let them hear him, until he shut the fridge door a little too hard. He winced as he instantly heard them stop talking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feet shuffling could be heard and he turned around as he felt them come in. “Just getting the kids some drinks.” He mumbled and turned back around. “Leaving now.” He lifted the tray.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked down. “Ben...we have a minute to talk.” He said gently. “Please?” He added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to talk about.” Ben shook his head. What? Did his dad think he could magically make this okay?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot to talk about.” Bucky told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben looked at them both. “You’re going to say sorry, and that you didn’t mean to. You’ll say you regret it. It doesn’t change anything.” He shook his head. “You’ll say that it was a mistake or something. The same thing that you told him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve rubbed over his face. “But it was a mistake. A huge one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben looked at him angrily as tears filled his eyes. “And it cost you. Heimdall is my best friend and he feels like nothing right now. I’m surprised that you even wanted me since you went off when mom was carrying me.” He told him. “He feels that everyone but him was wanted, but I’m honestly feeling just like him. You hurt mom, and you hurt my brother. That’s not just a mistake.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to live with that regret my whole life, Ben. It took ages for your mother to be okay with me, and I know I deserved that. But we’ve always loved you and your brother.” He shook his head. “I promise. It was a very rough time, and I took it out on Heimdall. It wasn’t fair to him or anyone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben looked down. “I just wish we would have found out sooner.” He sighed. “We spent all this time looking up to you guys.” He felt it was time wasted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve bit his lip hard. “I hope one day you can forgive me, Ben.” He said sadly. “I’ll do whatever it takes.” He felt he was losing him, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing that can change the past.” Ben told him. Without letting him get another word in about ‘sorry’ or anything, he hurried out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve hung his head and felt sick. Bucky rubbed his back before pulling him close. He didn’t know what to say to help his husband. “Won’t be long before I lose you too.” The blonde mumbled. That felt like a very real possibility to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not possible, pal.” Bucky squeezed him. “Ever. You’re it for me.” He said lovingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve shrugged, defeated. His world was crashing down around him. “I wouldn’t blame you Buck. In fact, maybe you should stay away until I fix things.” He said, voice cracking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky frowned and cupped his face. “You want me to leave?” His heart broke. “Seriously? Don’t you think that I’m the best person to help you through this? I’m your husband and I love you so damn much, Steve.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve teared up. “You might lose our sons if you don’t.” He said, and Bucky could see the pain in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not losing our sons and we’re not losing each other.” He said firmly. “Ever.” He added. “I meant our vows. For better or worse. This happens to be the ‘worse’ bit, and I’m sure there will be others. We have forever. You’re my forever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sniffled and hid in his neck as he cried, clutching to him. He felt that everyone would be better off without him at the moment. “You deserve so much better.” He broke out. “The best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turns out I married the best.” Bucky did his best to be supportive. He knew this would be a long haul. And he would be there every step of the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He sobbed, hating himself. “Heimdall is right. How could you marry a cheater?” He remembered Bucky’a worry all those years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you.” Bucky said simply. “Like you trust me.” He said honestly. “That’s not who you are. It’s something that happened a long time ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve was having flashbacks about Debbie. “She wasn’t anyone Bucky, how do you know I won’t do that again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky shook his head. “Because I know you.” He said easily. “Since you were just some cute little punk.” He shrugged. “You don’t even know why you cheated, so clearly it was a mistake.” He pointed out. “You’ve been nothing but faithful to me since day one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve rubbed his eyes. “Yeah.” He mumbled. The thought of being unfaithful to his husband made him beyond sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky squeezed him. “Let’s go cuddle.” He suggested softly. “I’ll be the big spoon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked at him sadly. “I’ll join you in a few. I just need to be alone with my thoughts.” He gently kissed his cheek. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Ben did his best to hide what he was feeling when he made it to the playroom. Nat would be in there, and she could read him like a book. He set down the tray and opened the boxes that some of the kids couldn’t open. He liked being a big brother overall, but at the moment he just wished he could be like the younger kids. Happy, and completely in the dark. No knowledge of any type of adult problems. “Here you go, guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!” Annabelle ran to sit back with Nat and drink her milk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia leaned into him as he opened her juice. “You always pick the best snacks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and handed it to her. “I just know all your favorites.”  He didn’t see them as half-siblings. He just saw Theo, Talia, and Annabelle as his brother and sisters. And that was that. He’d protect them as long as he could. He loved them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not all of them!” She giggled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? So I can eat all of those sour gummy worms in your room?” He grinned. “And give Heimdall some?” He smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped. “No!” She hugged him. “I’ll give you a blue one if you don’t tell anyone.” She offered. “They’re the best ones!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. Deal.” He rubbed her back. “Now let’s get everyone else they’re stuff.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded and helped him. “Can you braid my hair again, Talia?” Annabelle asked. “You always make it pretty!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!” She beamed. “You can thank Hiemdall. He taught me!” She admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is he?” Annabelle asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has a headache.” Ben said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo gasped. “We make a card?” He suggested. “Make him feel better?” He offered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nat furrowed her brows. Heimdall never got headaches. She could count on one hand how often he’d been sick after his cancer was cured. She knew something was up, and now she knew it involved more than just Steve and Bucky. It involved her nephew, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’d like that.” Ben nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go with you to get the supplies.” Nat offered. “I’m sure the kids will be okay for a few minutes.” She assured him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” He nodded and followed her out. He had no reason to believe that Nat had any idea about the issues that were going on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Heimdall okay?” She asked. “I figure it’s overwhelming having Thor back.” Nat said softly. “I know the weather was him.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded. “He’s processing…” He shrugged a shoulder. “As best as he can. And he does have two more sisters now, so that’s gonna add to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nat nodded. “And how do you feel? Thor considered himself your dad too. Proud of it.” She reminded him. “So, I’m thinking that he considers them your sisters, too.  You guys are a bit outnumbered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled softly. “I’d be happy to have them around.” He shrugged. “I’m used to having younger sisters.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled. “You’re always sweet.” Which was something she loved about the kids. While they did fight, overall they were all very sweet. “How’s your dad doing with Thor being back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben bit his cheek. “Worried. You know how he is.” He figured that was a safe and believable answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I can see that.” She sighed. “He takes everything on too much.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben shrugged. “Yeah.” He said simply, getting the box of construction paper. He didn’t want to risk giving anything away.  </span>
</p>
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